moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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