Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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