I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
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