First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
