I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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