mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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