Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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