I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Randomize
