in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
