I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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