I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
