His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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