You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I just found puke in my bra..
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
