No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
