I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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