i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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