My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Ketchup is God's man juice
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize