In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
