omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Michael Bay diarrhea
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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