I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
