My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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