3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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