his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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