when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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