Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize