Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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