the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
