you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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