Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Randomize
