Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
