I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
