I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
