im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
