i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
