She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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