Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Randomize
