Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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