so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
