just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i dont even know how to be here
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
