if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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