I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
