We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I'm always down for nudity.
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