:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
