Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
