I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
