My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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