We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
