hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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