i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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