Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
