We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
