every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize