So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
