I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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