You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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