We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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