i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
