i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize