1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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