Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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