if you like me you must not know who I am
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
