He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize