just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
