its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
