And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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