he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
