Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
